Love Story: One Side

Earlier I’ve been watching that series on Youtube about couples doing interview about their love story while their partner wore headphones. Those brings back my memories about how I met my boyfriend and everything that happened until about a year we’re dating. We hardly had a fight but recently we had our biggest of it, and we pulled through. I’m so grateful I didn’t make any wrong decision. Watching the series and wondering what I am going to answer the questions makes me treasure my relationship more than before. So here it is, my love story, based on the questions on series Both Sides by channel Jubilee.

Question 1: First impression
It was the third day since we matched on Tinder and chatted back and forth when we decided to go on a date. He picked me up at the wrong house, so I happened to saw his posture from quite afar though it was still difficult to pay attention cause it’s already dark outside (and he was being shadowed by a tree) and my heart beat too fast at that time.

He’s taller and bigger (muscly) than in photos, super polite, cuter than in photos and clean (he’s freshly perfumed and got shocked when I said that I didn’t get change and that I wore my work outfit to go on a date with him, well actually, I did take a bath right after I got home that afternoon but didn’t have any cute clothes stand by!).

Question 2: How you get together
It was an accident I guess. From the first time we met we already knew that we like each other, but I said to him that we should “settle things up” and decide what to expect from this relationship once he came back from work, which is around 4-5 weeks later. But I kind of screwed it by calling him “my boyfriend” when he’s still working out there. We didn’t have any anniversary date then and decided to use date we matched on Tinder as a memorial.

Question 3: Why are you in love
He’s so different from people around me, in a better way. He’s a hard worker. He never complain. He never put any unnecessary comment or opinion on anyone’s decision, action, choice, belief. He respects other people, never look down on them. He’s mature and knows himself so well. He knows what he’s doing, what he wants, what he doesn’t. He doesn’t mind if I get cranky for no reason, he can make me laugh during those times. He never get embarrassed about his feelings. He explains his mind clearly. He loves his parents so much and I feel like it would be easy to be with him. That’s what I really like about him.

Yet at the time my feeling was developing, I also realized that I need more insurance to fall in love with him securely. I still didn’t have any guts to put my trust in him. Until that night when I got into an accident and he became so mad at me. He got angry, talked so cold to me, because I hit a car–hit, not got hit– (“You didn’t know how it feels knowing you get hurt when I’m not around”) It touches me that he really cares for me and I can feel that he means it. That was exactly when I fall in love with him.

Question 4: How’s your first physical contact
It was the night before that we watched movie together and only after we separated he told me that he wanted to hold my hand back in the theater. Then the day after, when we watched movie in his place, he suddenly, SO STRONGLY GRABBED MY HAND. So strong it almost felt like he dropped his entire arm on my tiny hand. He’s a big guy, weighs nearly twice mine, my face touches his chest and his stomach when I hugged him. Though it seemed like a funny scene on movies, my heart beat faster and louder I was so scared he’d heard it. I can’t remember what movie we saw that day, but I remember that my hand became stiff, then turn to relaxed a little bit, then held his hand back, then got all sweaty, then our knees got cramped, then we fixed our seating, then we held hands again.

Question 5: Favorite moments
1. In our first date he told me that he should go back to work on another island in three days. So we kept seeing each other on those two days left and parted at the airport. My number one favorite moment is the first day he got back from work after 5 weeks being apart.

2. First time holding hands. That half-ridiculous, half-tense moment in his room.

3. One day, it was raining when he picked me up from office. We hopped on his bike with only one disposable raincoat. He insisted that I am the one who should wear the raincoat because it is colored yellow. I agreed to wear it as long as we stopped to buy another disposable raincoat for him to wear. It was already half the road when we finally found someone selling it (usually there were plenty of them when it rains!). I jumped down the bike and bought one quickly. Half running, got back to him and handed him the raincoat.
“Sayang, kok ijoo? Nanti aku dikira goojeeekk!”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He laughed and continue asking.
“Engga ada warna laain?”
“Ga adaaaa”
“Yaudah Mbak…mau kemana Mbaaak?” (mimicking Abang Gojek)
It was an ordinary joke, really, but we both laughed our ass out back then, in the rain. He surrendered and finally put on the raincoat, but he couldn’t fit the pants! He ripped it as he slides his legs in. I laughed till it hurt my lungs, lose my voice.

4. He loves strawberry milk. Maybe because it’s so sweet that it can complement his cigarette perfectly. One day I bought him strawberry milk and put it in the fridge overnight. I forgot to take it out from the fridge before I offered it to him, it was too cold for him to drank it right away. So he brought the packaged milk to the sink, drown it in the water, turned on the hairdryer and waved it hovering his milk.

Question 6: What if you never met him
One thing for sure is I wouldn’t love myself as much as now. He makes me feel worthy. He shows me how to actually take care of someone, how to give up things for the sake of someone else, how to get someone involved in your life because you want them to. Without him I would never know how to love myself and him properly.

Question 7: Do you want to say something to him right now?
After all this time, I can say that I’m happy with you. It’s not always laughter that we share, but we can comfort each other, we compromise. I love you. Even when I got so mad I thought it was almost over, I still worried about you being hungry. If that morning I decided to leave you, I’m sure I would wait for Abang Gojek came bring your food first before I left. I care about you that much. I love you that much.

Form

Personally of course I regret everything. Not a word, not a deed, not a thought, not a need, not a grief, not a joy, not a girl, not a boy, not a doubt, not a trust, not a scorn, not a lust, not a hope, not a fear, not a smile, not a tear, not a name, not a face, no time, no place, that I do not regret, exceedingly. An ordure from beginning to end. And yet, when I sat for Fellowship, but for the boil on my bottom… The rest, an ordure. The Tuesday scowls, the Wednesday growls, the Thursday curses, the Friday howls, the Saturday snores, the Sunday yawns, the Monday morns, the Monday morns. The whacks, the moans, the cracks, the groans, the welts, the squeaks, the belts, the shrieks, the pricks, the prayers, the kicks, the tears, the skelps, and the yelps. And the poor old lousy old earth, my earth and my father’s and my mother’s and my father’s father’s and my mother’s mother’s and my father’s mother’s and my mother’s father’s, and my father’s mother’s father’s and my mother’s father’s mother’s and my father’s mother’s mother’s and my mother’s father’s father’s and my father’s father’s mother’s and my mother’s mother’s father’s and my father’s father’s father’s and my mother’s mother’s mother’s and other people’s fathers’ and mothers’ and fathers’ fathers’ and mothers’ mothers’ and fathers’ mothers’ and mothers’ fathers’ and fathers’ mothers’ fathers’ and mothers’ fathers’ mothers’ and fathers’ mothers’ mothers’ and mothers’ fathers’ fathers’ and fathers’ fathers’ mothers’ and mothers’ mothers’ father’s and fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ and mothers’ mothers’ mothers’. An excrement.

(Watt, Beckett)

Sela-sela

(hari pertama diklat, di depan kelas, coffee break, saya dan A hampir berpapasan)
S: (dalam hati: ini nih anak yang di kelas tidur mulu)
A: “Heh! kamu ini, di kelas tidur terus ya kamu”
S: (loh)

P: “Sara Sara!”
S: “Sekarang udah inget ya?”
P: “Sudah lah Sara..kau kan manis seperti kecebong”
(diteriakkan dengan logat Batak kental)

U: “Sara kamu kan nggak pendek tapi kecil”

(datang orang Sunda)
T: “Ci, kalo onde mande nya jawa tuh kan aduuh, kalo onde mande nya sunda apa sunda?”
U: “Ee..apa yaa?”
N: “Eleuh eleuuh!”
Semua: “Oiyaa ituuuu!!”
(datang orang Padang)
S: “Zik, kalo onde mande nya Padang apa?”
Semua: (ngakak sampe batuk)

S: (tidur ayam)
Pengajar: “..kalau xxxx xxx xxxxx?”
S: “Pasal dua sembilan..”
N: “…”
S: (merem)
N: “Lo ngelindur apa gimana?”
S : “Enggaak itu gue jawaab..”

Pelatih: “Siapa nama kamu? (lihat nametag) Oh Pemirsa..”

Page Fifty

“..Do you know where the wicked go after death?”
“They go to hell,” was my ready and orthodox answer.
“And what is hell? Can you tell me that?”
“A pit full of fire”
“And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?”
“No, Sir”
“What must you do to avoid it?”
I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it come, was objectionable: “I must keep in good health, and not die.”

Makan Sendiri

(iklan K*FC Ramadhan)

adik: “Masnya makan sendiri..”
saya: “Menurutku di Indonesia aneh kalo makan sendiri itu karena pandangan orang lain lho, bukan karena esensinya”

adik: “Menurutku karena orang luar (negeri) prinsipnya cuek..liberal.. kalo orang sini kan prinsipnya ramah tamah..jadi ya ngerasanya hii sendiri aneh banget
saya: “Menurutku karena orang sini ngerasa punya hak buat ngerasani orang..mocking”

adik: “Bukan hak..insting”